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Self | The Woman in the Mirror

Isn’t the brain a powerful thing. They say, think it, and it will be. I don’t doubt that we can ‘think things into existence’. But what about the other way round. Over the last 18 months I have changed a few key habits and made some vast improvements in my health and physical self.

I have shared the journey with you and been none to shy about celebrating my own success in loosing 25kgs/55pounds.

Yet, yesterday, as I shopped at my spiritual home, Kmart, I still reached for the size 16 pants. Not so long ago I use to look like this. This is size 18 pants territory.

2018

Now, I look more like this. Size 12 pants. Taken last week. Yet my brain still picks up the size 16 pants. I put them back and picked up the size 14. Then, I put them back and took home the size 12.

2020 – The words were on the mirror in the Leagues Club – how cute!

I don’t have a full length mirror at home. I do own one, but along with all our worldly possessions, it is stuck in New Zealand. We are waiting for international shipping to recommence around COVID19 restrictions. So when I caught me in this mirror I took a pic.

I still have a hard time getting my head around not being a ‘fat girl’.

I’m smart, I’m intelligent. At a very basic awareness level, I know I have put in the work to lose the weight. Yet, it does not compute. Funny really, as I don’t know how I let myself get so heavy, and now I’m not, I don’t know how to let go of that part of me.

The pants comparison

Maybe it’s a passing of time. Maybe longevity will bring about a mind flip. Maybe, but I’m not sure. I didn’t feel defined by my weight before, and now I don’t feel defined by my weight loss. I am stoked it has been lost. I am thankful it is gone. I am a keto girl till death do we part now, or 90, whichever comes first.

I am not alone in this mindset. I know at least a dozen women who experience the same ‘time lag’ self imaging. We have done the work, we are in maintenance mode, yet our head still seems to be holding onto an old image, ‘old film’, of our former selves.

A work in progress no doubt.

But, I’m not going to make it my life’s work, I’m more than a pants size and am too busy living.

Wishing you well on your path, always here for a good chat. Love Le xox

Ps … maybe I need to look back on my progress photos more often 🙂

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